I’m what most pick up artists would call a keyboard jockey. The guy that watches endless videos about high level game concepts like transcending your ego, but doesn’t even go out. Today I began my work to change that.
According to the socialization goal I set for this month I’m supposed to go out everyday. According to that post leaving the house to hang out with one of my guy friends and shooting a juggling video counts as socializing.
That’s exactly what I did today. But even though making a juggling video with my friend was fun and social to some degree, I knew that if I stopped there I really wouldn’t have experienced much growth in the social aspect of my life. I knew that I could push myself further. So I did.
After we finished shooting our video I drove us to Barnes and Noble. He’s a really understanding guy, so I explained to him what I was doing and he was completely cool with it. I told him that if I didn’t make conversation with at least one person before we left he would need to punch me in the guccis. He agreed.
I also told him to punch me in the arm as hard as he could if I didn’t approach the first person I saw. Thirty-seconds later he winded up and delivered me a world of pain. My arm turned somewhat purple and it’s still sore more than two hours later.
Afterwards I wandered through Barnes and Noble attempting to muster up the courage to approach someone while at the same time trying to massage the pain in my arm away. Unfortunately, I was unsuccessful in both pursuits.
The pain in my arm continued to persist and I kept making excuses to not approach people. I planned to use an indirect opener telling whoever I opened that I was shopping for my mother’s birthday, or Father’s Day (depending if they were male or female) and that I needed advice on what to buy.
(The reason I opened older people instead of people my age is that most of my peers are still in school.) The problem I faced with this was I was afraid I was going to ask someone for advice on what to buy for my parents, and they were going to be offended because I thought they were older than they actually were.
However, what I feared most was rejection. I wasn’t even really putting myself out there by asking a simple question, but I was afraid of someone ignoring me or giving me a rude remark. Logically I knew this was just my ego trying to get in the way of my success, but I still felt these feelings on an emotional level.
The important thing, however, is I was able to push myself through it. I approached a middle aged man asking for advice on what to buy my dad for Father’s Day. I noticed a slight shake to my voice and he wasn’t particularly helpful, but I was proud I was able to finally push myself to action.
Logically I know most people don’t consider talking to a stranger as having any significance, but this was a huge milestone for me. I want to delve deep into pick up and meet beautiful girls and make greats friends though it, but for today at least, I can be satisfied in taking the first tiny step towards that.
It’s true that I didn’t even talk to a girl today, but now that I’ve taken the first step I can build off it. The next time I practice approaching I may talk to two or three strangers. Maybe the time after that I’ll focus on opening girls my age.
Before you know it I’ll be comfortable meeting a random chick at the beach and going on a date with her later the same day. But even if it takes a long time I’m ok with it. I’m enjoying the process. The possibilities of the future are exciting.
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Me: Hey, I know this is kind of random, umm but do you watch sports?
Him: Oh yeah.
Me: So Father’s Day is coming up and I need to get something for my dad so, you know any good books?
Him: Actually I don’t haha. I really don’t. I don’t read many books.
Me: Alright, well are you a father?
Him: Oh yeah.
Me: Alright then, so what are you hoping you get for Father’s Day?
Him: I really don’t know…
Me: haha cuz I don’t know what to get him.
Him: Yeah I don’t know.
Me: Alright.
Him: I don’t know what to tell you there buddy.
Me: Ok well thanks anyway.
Him: Yeah.
Him: Well hey, here’s history of baseball. How ‘bout that?
Me: He’s into baseball.
Him: Yeah?
Me: Yeah, his favorite sport is golf though.
Him: Oh yeah there’s tons of books I’m sure, just look in the golf section or sports section.
Me: Alright.
Him: I think that’s your best bet.
Me: ok, thanks!
Not a great conversation by any means, but it lasted almost a minute and for a first approach I’ll take it! More coming soon…
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