Trying to force my beliefs on others is a huge issue I’ve struggled with as I’ve worked on my personal development over the last couple years. For example, when I first quit watching television I would often hear people talking about the latest episode of a reality show and feel compelled to tell them why watching television is a waste of time.
I would try explaining to them how they could better use that time. Something I quickly realized, however, is as valid as my arguments against watching television were, other people just seemed to brush them off.
They would completely ignore any evidence I had presented to them. And after being constantly rejected in my efforts to help others improve their lives I really began to question how I was going about things.
Then I had a simple, but profound realization. People weren’t listening to me because they didn’t like having my beliefs forced upon them.
Just like the old saying goes, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink.” Similarly I could present people with the perfect argument on why they should stop watching television, but because they hadn’t had the previous referential life experiences to lead them to same conclusion, they wouldn’t be able to accept it.
So, I began to tweak my approach. I decided that I was no longer going to attempt to force my beliefs on others, but instead live by the old saying, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”
I wasn’t going to criticize others lifestyles until they were open to change, or asked for advice. I’ve noticed that in addition to improving my relationships, this approach is infinitely more effective than attempting to help people that have no intentions of improving their lives.
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