The ego’s an interesting topic. Although I’d like to think I’m a lot better than the average person in regards to managing their ego, I’m not sure I am, and despite making improvements in this area of my life I’m still frequently controlled by my ego. Like last week, the blog post and video aren’t exactly the same, but they’re similar enough you don’t need to consume both of them. Feel free to select whatever medium you prefer…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGAb3bYoMp4
Moving onwards, something I’ve really noticed over the last couple weeks is just how lethal the ego can be in regards to success. Take pick-up for example. I’m no master pick up artist, but over the last couple months my social skills have dramatically improved, and I’ve learned a lot from going out.
One of the coolest things I’ve learned from the game is the idea of going all in and fully committing yourself to a social situation.
A lot of people go into social situations wearing a mask, and prevent themselves from investing too heavily into interactions in case they go sour. I’d suggest you do the exact opposite.
When you see someone you want to talk what I’d recommend is being completely genuine, expressing a vibe congruent to the mood you’re in, and putting your ego on the line.
Being yourself, and expressing how you really feel is pretty self-explanatory, but why does putting your ego on the line matter? Because most people who’ve been rejected won’t, so by making yourself vulnerable you actually increase your chance of success by broadcasting two very important things.
One, that you’re rarely rejected (few people who are frequently rejected will be able to congruently put their ego on the line), and two, that you’re not afraid of rejection which puts you in the light of being a value-provider who has their own ecosystem of positive emotions, and thus doesn’t have to leech off of other people.
Now the big question is why are most people unwilling to put their ego on the line? There’s two main answers.
The first is that the ego fears loss more than it desires gain. Your biological brain assumes on a fundamental level that if you’ve survived this many years living, however you’ve lived than it’s likely you’ll continue to survive if you stick to the same routine. But if you switch things up your brain can’t be certain what’ll happen and thus fear manifests.
Another reason most people are afraid to take action is because doing so will inevitably crush your ego’s fantasy. If you never take action your brain will always be able to justify that you could’ve done something, you just chose not to. It’ll be able to maintain the fantasy that you know how to attract women, that you’re capable of building a successful business, whatever. However, if you choose to take action you’re guaranteed to be hammered back to the reality of your situation, and all of your ego’s mental masturbation fantasies will shatter.
What’s The Solution?
Put your ego on the line, and take action anyway. You’ll likely have to start off small, and you’re going to feel fear, but this is something you just have to force yourself to do.
Fortunately, if you’re able to consistently put your ego in its place you’ll be able to evaluate risk more intelligently, and you’ll develop a stronger grounding, and sense of self along the way.
It’s definitely a process, and you’ll always feel fear in stressful situations, but with enough practice you’ll no longer be paralyzed by that fear. When you get to the point where you feel fear, but are able take action anyway you’ll begin producing the best results of your life.
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