You know what’s attractive? Confidence. Walking into a room and knowing you’re the one running the show. Knowing that everything that comes out of your mouth is gold, and everyone that gets to linger in your presence is blessed. It’s been said that when people like Michael Jackson walk into a room everyone stops what they’re doing and the whole energy of the room changes.
I’ve been called arrogant, but that’s how I feel whenever I walk through the door. I suffered from low self-esteem in the past, but I actually consider that a blessing. I learned a lot from that time period and it’s helped shape me into who I am today.
I still have the occasional moment of insecurity as I’m sure everyone does, but for the most part I feel like I’m magnetic and when I walk through the door the whole energy of the room changes. Over the last few years I’ve learned a lot about confidence and I’d like to share with you my secrets to being confident.
1. Don’t put up with bullshit excuses
Excuses are for pricks. If you want to be confident you need to stop using them as crutches. I don’t care if it’s raining outside. If you’re serious about losing weight you’ll go for your run.
I don’t care if you suffer from social anxiety, if you’re trying to improve your social skills there’s no way around talking to people.
Being in good shape, and having social skills are great for confidence, but they’re just examples and actually not necessary. They’re not means to an end.
Looking good is one reason exercise makes you confident, but it’s not the only thing. The biggest reason working out makes you confident is it shows you you’re not willing to let bullshit excuses keep you from what you want.
2. Do what you say you’re going to do
If you say you’re going to quit eating junk food, cheating shouldn’t even be an option. If you say you’re going to give a speech, or you tell someone you’re going to run a marathon, you sure as hell better be doing it.
In everything you do failure should never be an option. Success has to be your only option. When you decide you’re going to do something you shouldn’t “hope it’s going to happen.” Cause it won’t. When you commit to something you should have an unshakable belief that it’s going to eventually manifest itself into reality.
Once you decide you’re going to do something your commitment should be so unwavering that it’s already effectively done. The actual doing of the task should be a mere formality.
3. Keep Things 100% Real
If a girl you’re talking to is interested in something, but you think it’s completely lame don’t pretend to be into it. Obviously you don’t need to be a dick about it, but you’ll quickly realize that everyone loses when someone’s only pretending to be engaged in a conversation.
If you disagree with what someone said feel free to voice your opinion. Don’t be so desperate to please everyone that you become a pushover. At the same time don’t be the annoying guy who turns every little debate into a massive argument. Pick your battles and be willing to agree to disagree.
Finally, don’t put on a fake persona. Be authentic in everything you do. I’ve found that trying to be cool is actually the worst way to gain confidence and experience social abundance.
The problem with trying to be cool is even if you put on a good show and get into the “popular group,” you won’t have fulfilling relationships there. For one the majority of popular kids are wearing a mask themselves, but more than that if you can’t be yourself around others you’ll never be able to truly enjoy yourself.
I’ve found that being completely present to the moment and expressing who you really are is huge in developing social abundance. It attracts people with similar interests and compatible personalities.
More than that, however, you can enjoy complete spontaneity without having to worry about censoring yourself. Nothing brings greater confidence than being 100% authentic and having the courage to tell people they can accept you as you are or get out of your life.
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