How Do I Make People Like Me?

You don’t. This is a terrible goal. Here’s the two issues with trying to make people like you.

1. Nobody will want to hang out with you if you broadcast neediness because they’ll see you as inferior and expect that you’d leech value from them if you were to develop a relationship. Seeking approval from other people comes off as needy. The problem with that, is when people see you can’t meet you own needs they’ll immediately run away from you because they won’t expect you to contribute anything to the relationship.

2. Even if you’re able to hide your neediness and “make” people like you it won’t matter. Why? Because your relationships will be unfulfilling. If you can’t be yourself around other people you’re not going to get any fulfillment from relationships with them.

So What Should I Do?

Don’t try to force relationships with people that aren’t compatible with you. If someone’s not a good fit for you drop them from your life. When one door closes another one opens.

We only have enough time, and energy to maintain “x” number of relationships. If the relationships you’re currently experiencing aren’t a good fit let go. You’ll be unable to manifest more fulfilling relationships until you’re willing to do so.

More than that, however, you can’t just let go of all your relationships and expect better ones to magically appear. You’ll never make friends if you wait for others to befriend you. Put yourself in positions where you’re likely to meet the type of people you’d like to build relationships with.

If you’re trying to meet people who eat healthy go to vegan, or raw food potlucks. If you’re trying to meet people who will help you improve your social skills join Toastmaster’s or go to a RSD Hotseat or bootcamp. If you want to meet active people join a yoga class, or sports team.

Once you start meeting people who are a good fit for you then and only then is it time to start worrying about building relationships. Fortunately, once you meet someone who’s compatible with you it’s neither difficult, nor complicated to build a relationship with them. The secret? Don’t be a value seeking leech.

If it’s a business relationship you’re trying to build help the other person get closer to reaching their goals. If it’s a friendship, provide them with cool experiences, and fun. If it’s a romance provide them with positive emotions, and show that although you want them, you don’t need them.

Regardless of the type of relationship you’re trying to build, if you provide value before expecting the same in return you will develop fulfilling relationships. To answer your original question, if you want people to like you, be a likable person.

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