Women love powerful men. However, even more than that, women love having power over their man. At least they believe this on a subconscious level. More often, the reality is that a women will begin to resent you once she’s tied your balls in a knot. If a women believes you’re living your life in reaction to her, she’s not going to respect you.
This doesn’t mean you can’t be supportive of your woman and love her. Rather, it simply means that as a man you have to have a mission for yourself. You need to have a direction you’re going and invite her on that journey with you. Of course, your woman can have her own goals too. That’s healthy. You can encourage your girl to lose weight, or learn a new language, or develop skills for her career.
The problem is when you place your girlfriend’s needs above your own because you’re afraid of losing her. Cheering your girlfriend on to go to the gym or spend 30 minutes reading books every night is an awesome way to be supportive in a healthy relationship.
Sacrificing your own goals and dreams for your girlfriend because you’re scared she’ll leave you otherwise, however, is exactly what you don’t want to be doing. I’ll give an example from my own life. I’ve recently become financially stable as a freelance writer. Because of this increased financial stability, I’ll spend some time this year traveling away from Vietnam and exploring the rest of Southeast Asia.
Maybe I’ll stay in Chiang Mai, Thailand or Bali, Indonesia for a few months. Maybe I’ll travel indefinitely. I’m not quite sure yet, but I’ve invited my girlfriend to come with. However, I understand that long distance relationships don’t work. That’s why when inviting her I explained that she doesn’t have to come with on this adventure, but that we couldn’t be together if she stayed in Vietnam.
Is that mean? What if she wanted to stay in Vietnam? While this is an incredible opportunity for her to see the world, she’ll have to spend a lot of time away from her family and friends to do so. Plus, she’ll have to put any “real” job in Vietnam on hold to travel with me, learn new skills and support my business.
I hope she comes with, and I think joining me on this journey would be an awesome choice for her life. However, I’ve clearly put a breakup on the table, and doing that required me not to be afraid to lose my girl. Yet in the end, I know one thing.
If a man doesn’t follow his dreams because of a woman, he will usually come to resent that woman. More than that, the woman will resent him. She’ll see that he didn’t go after what he really wanted in life because he was too afraid to lose her. That’s why you can never be afraid of breaking up with a girl.
If you place her before your dreams, you’ll lose your dreams. Plus, you’ll usually lose your girl too. At the very least you’ll lose her respect, and a relationship without that isn’t worth it anyway.
On the other hand, if you follow your dreams… that’s where all the potential in the world is. Your old girl will come along for the ride if it was meant to be. If she doesn’t, it’s irrelevant. It doesn’t matter.
You’ll have your dreams, which were the most important thing for you. Ironically, you’ll still get girls in the end on this path because you’ll be fulfilled and content with your life. That my friends, is what draws the girls in.