I’ve been very conscious during my social interactions the last couple days and I’ve noticed a disturbing theme. People spend a disproportionate amount of time talking about themselves. Also, when other people are talking they rarely give them their full attention.
Most people are simply waiting for their turn to talk again, and of the people that do pay attention when others are talking few are present to the moment.
Whenever other people are talking few people attempt to consider their perspective, and truly consider their emotions. Most people listen solely on a surface level, and think only about how the discussion relates to them.
On one level this makes sense. We have to see what’s going on, and consider how we can use that information to ensure our own self-preservation. We’re our own number one, and we’re biologically programmed to save ourselves, before worrying about others.
Unfortunately things don’t work like they once did. We no longer need to hoard food and other resources while fighting for our survival. These days trying to leech positive emotions, or resources off of other human beings comes from a place of scarcity.
Tyler of RSD made a really good point in his video earlier this week. He said that most people are leeches and will take 80% of the value in a relationship. In the short-term that sounds intelligent, why not milk a relationship for all it’s worth?
Unfortunately, the people who are leeches don’t realize that they’re screwing themselves over in the long term. They may take more value in their first relationship, but that relationship will quickly end, and once others see that they’re a leech they won’t be able to form any additional relationships.
A leech may get 80% of the value in their first relationship, but then they’re done. A person who cares about others, and is a giver will get 20% here, 20% there, 20% there, and from the sheer number of people who want to be in a relationship with them they’ll still acquire far more than the leech.
Scarcity repels abundance. The rich get richer, and the poor stay hungry. Do for others and they’ll do for you. It’s the law of reciprocation at it’s finest. It’s important this all comes from the right place though, and you actually do care about the success of others. If you attempt to give in a manipulative fashion others WILL notice.
If you do identify that you’re self-absorbed initially you may need to fake it until you make it, but by adopting a mindset of abundance, and contributing to the success of others, you’ll find that they more than take care of you on your own endeavors.
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