Thoughts On Charisma

I went to bed at midnight. It’s currently 6:20 A.M. I’ve already meditated, recorded a video, walked to my favorite restaurant in Vietnam and am currently waiting for my order as I type this.

Anyway, I’m writing this post for you not because I wanted to skip sleep, but because I just couldn’t. I didn’t check the time when I woke up, but I estimate it was probably about 4:30 A.M. As strange as this sounds, while I was laying there alone in bed I gave enthused speeches on what it takes to be successful.

I delivered speech after speech as I imagined myself standing before an audience of other young hustlers clinging on to every word I offered. Now this may seem somewhat strange, but I didn’t have any resistance to it. I really enjoyed the strange rush of passion I experienced this morning, and being that it’s been so long since I gave you guys a new video I thought I’d record a quick one for you this morning.

In today’s video, being that I felt charismatic and passionate I thought I’d share a few quick tips and observations I’ve had on becoming more charismatic. This isn’t to say that I am the epitome of charisma. No, no, no. Very far from it. I am, however, significantly more charismatic than I was a few years ago, and you could easily observe that if you watch some of the first videos I ever recorded. These are just some thoughts from someone that’s going through the process alongside you.

If these ideas resonate with you then use them. If not, don’t. That’s part of being an educated consumer. Never blindly accept the things I, or anyone else tells you. Sure, it’s probably better to blindly follow what I say rather than to listen to the narrative mainstream media feeds you. At the end of the day, however, if you do that you’re still going to be a sheep incapable of making your own decisions.

Anyway, enough of my rant. Here’s a quick summary of the ideas in the video:

First, how should we define charisma? To do that, I believe we first must define charisma’s opposite which I believe to be monotone. What is monotone? Failing to vary your vocal tonality. Why do people fail to vary their vocal tonality? They’re lazy and unconsciously recognize that doing so would require an extra exertion of effort.

I challenge you to do the opposite. Actively seek to exert more energy in your interactions. Of course, that’s not enough. We’ve all tried that before and come off as “try-hard” in the past. Why did we come off as try-hard? For exactly that reason. We tried too hard. We weren’t being natural about it.

See, aside from the exertion of energy the other element to charisma is congruence. You have your highest potential for charisma when you have an abundance of energy. But, at the same time we’ve all observed someone that was tired or in an unideal emotional state, but still been captivated by them. Why? Because they were at least congruent.

Just look at your social interactions. Ideally you’re in a great mood dishing out positive energy to all the people you interact with. That’s the highest value social behavior you can have. But, at the same time it’s unrealistic to expect you’re always going to be in an upbeat emotional state. Sure, optimize your lifestyle and emotions the best you can, but at times you’re just not going to feel that great. In those times, just be comfortable with who you are and most often people will still respond to you well.

Of course, these things are mostly theory. We’re just philosophizing here. It’s cool to ponder these thoughts, but how should you actually go about becoming charismatic?

My biggest suggestion to you is to face your fears. Do the things that scare you. As Elliott Hulse would say, “Live dangerously.”

You’ll find that two things happen when you face your fears. The first is that you’ll become energized. This happens regardless of whether or not you succeed in the face of fear. Even if the girl you find intimidating rejects you, you’ll still feel energized for having had to summon up the courage to talk to her.

The second thing you’ll find is that by leaning into your fears you’re naturally able to be more congruent. This happens as a result of you becoming more confident and comfortable with who you are as a person. As you begin to live in closer alignment with your values it’s easier to be congruent because you don’t feel as much of a need to filter yourself or present something that you’re not. When you like the person who you are it’s relatively easy to be authentic with others.

Finally, why you should you want to be charismatic? You’ll be a more interesting and dynamic person in your relationships, and charisma will also give you a greater ability to influence others and initiate positive change. Few people are actively trying to make the world a better place. You can never put people into a role they don’t want to play, but being charismatic can help you show them exactly why they should want to play that role.

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Below is the Elliott Hulse video I referenced earlier on living dangerously. Some great thoughts here and things I’ve personally observed as well. Definitely make the time to check it out!

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