Spending Time In Your Craft vs Around It

I’m a very analytical guy, and if you enjoy reading my blog you probably are as well. I examine the most minuscule details of everything that’s important to me. This is good because I’m constantly “Sharpening the saw,” and becoming more intelligent with how I approach life.

It also allows me the luxury of having essentially infinite ideas for blog content. However, this strange neurotic tendency also has a downside. Sometimes I spend more time researching my approach to something than actually doing it. I’ve gotten much better with this over the last few years, but I’m not perfect, and it’s still something I have to consciously monitor to prevent it from creeping back into my life.

What’s important to realize it you don’t become a master at something by learning how to learn about it. You can’t improve your social skills just by watching pickup videos. You can’t become a stronger version of yourself just by reading my blog. You don’t learn a language by learning how to learn a language. When it comes down to it, you’ve gotta teach yourself.

This is scary. I know. It’s easy to defer responsibility to others for your learning. But it’s also highly ineffective. People can learn, but they can’t be taught. If you’re not ready for the information I’m presenting you it’ll be impossible for you to retain it.

Teachers aren’t useless, but you’ve gotta have the reference experiences to understand where they’re coming from. If you have no social skills, and you don’t go out, but you watch pick up videos anyway you’re wasting your time. If you don’t lift, but you’re watching Elliot Hulse’s videos on how to increase your bench press you’re wasting time.

But, if you start going out, suddenly the pick up videos will start to make sense. You’ll see how they relate to your own experiences, and at this point the consumption of them will begin to accelerate your progress. Once you start lifting weights you’ll actually begin to understand what Elliot is recommending and have the ability to implement it into to your training routine.

It’s great to spend time “Sharpening the saw,” but it’s also important to realize that without reference experiences it’ll be difficult to do so. The majority of your time has to be spent taking action. Regardless of how sharp it was, no saw has ever cut anything without someone using it.

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It’s been about four months since I began recording vlogs, and it’s crazy to see how much the videos have improved since then!

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Setting Intelligent Metrics Of Success

These are the first words I’ve written for the blog in two weeks. I’m not even sure if I know how to blog anymore. I don’t know if I’ll be able to get into any form of a flow state anymore, and I feel hesitant as I type each word. But yet, the words are coming.

We’re already a full paragraph into this post, and it’s already getting a little easier. Maybe I’ll be able to write a blog post that doesn’t make me look like a complete idiot. But if I can’t, does it really matter?

Metrics Of Success

Something I find tremendously interesting is a philosophy of those in the pickup community. Tyler from RSD says his only metric of success is that when he sees a girl he wants to talk to he approaches her.

He doesn’t need to make out with her, he doesn’t need to fuck her, all he asks of himself is that he starts a conversation with her and sees where things go from there. His metrics of success aren’t tied to external circumstances. That would be stupid as external circumstances are something you can’t control.

No, Tyler is intelligent in the fact that his only metric of success is that he takes action. He ties his feelings of self-worth to things that are completely within his control, and this is key. It’s a philosophy I’ve put a lot of effort into implementing into my own life as well.

You can see it even through the writing of this blog post. My only metric of success for this post is that I write it. It may suck as I haven’t written in two weeks, and it certainly won’t be the best post I’ve ever written, but it’s another piece of content, another opportunity to improve my writing skills and paradigms, and through the writing of this piece I’ll advance one step toward producing higher quality content.

Let go of your ego. Don’t personally identify with not producing the external result you desired. If a girl rejects you it wasn’t you that failed. It was your approach. Take satisfaction in knowing that you took action, laugh at yourself if it was a particularly bad rejection, and then alter your approach.

By setting intelligent metrics of success, continually adjusting your approach, and refusing to take things personally you’ll be happier with yourself than ever before, and you’ll begin producing better results as well.

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Desensitizing Yourself To Fear

The human brain has a tendency to acclimate to whatever stimulus it is subjected to. If you lift weights your muscles grow stronger. If you lay sedentary your muscles become weaker.

When you take a drug for the first time the high is incredible. However, as you become a regular user of the drug you become accustomed to it, and the highs becomes less and less dramatic.

These are both obvious examples of desensitization, but there’s another type of desensitization that most people haven’t heard about. Fear desensitization.

An Example Of Fear Desensitization

If you were shy as a child you no doubt remember experiencing social anxiety whenever you had to do any form of public speaking. If you were anything like me you did everything you could to avoid having to speak in front of others.

You may have pretended to be sick, rationalized your way out of speaking, or just spoke the bare minimum when it was time to take the stage. That’s what I did the whole way through elementary school.

However, when I got to middle school I realized something. I couldn’t keep running away from learning to public speak my whole life. At the time I wanted to be a video game programmer when I grew up, and I knew that although most programmers were hermits to some extent, I couldn’t become an elite video game programmer without being able to at least present my ideas to my fellow programmers.

After that realization I made the commitment to start being more talkative. Over the next couple years at school I would often goof off, and assume the role of the center of attention, and although my obnoxiousness was inauthentic and reaction seeking the majority of the time my actions desensitized me to my fear of public speaking.

I’ve since become more socially calibrated in my interactions, but going to the extreme of assuming the role of the center of the attention and doing things most people would consider incredibly embarrassing taught me that there was no reason to fear public speaking.

I learned that most people wouldn’t bother criticizing me because they were far too concerned about themselves, and if I could do crazy things without backlash there was no reason to fear doing standard public speaking.

Gradual Vs Dramatic Fear Desensitization

There are two types of fear desensitization. Gradual, and dramatic. In gradual desensitization you slowly desensitize yourself to fear.

If you’re looking to decrease your fear of social situations you may try just walking down the street and making eye contact with 5 people per day. Then the next week you may ask 5 people per day a situational question such as the time, or where they got their hat. Then the week after you may try starting conversations with 5 people per day, and over time you can gradually desensitize yourself to your fear.

If, however, you’d like to take a more dramatic approach to decreasing your fear of social situations you could throw a party, give a speech to a large audience, or otherwise make yourself the center of attention in front of a lot of people.

Some people like the gradual desensitization while others prefer the dramatic approach. I see it as being very similar to entering a cold pool. Jumping in may be scarier, but in most cases doing so will save a lot of time and anxiety.

Although dramatic desensitization may allow you to transcend your fear more quickly don’t feel that’s your only option. If you only have enough courage for gradual desensitization take that approach. The longer you refuse to face a fear the scarier it becomes so the most important thing is not to let fear paralyze you.

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Picture is of the Barrymore Theater shortly before the Madfest Juggling Extravaganza main show began last weekend.

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Optimizing Your Media Consumption

The TV’s on and someone left some stupid reality TV show on. You laugh at how stupid it is, and then, you justify that you’re just going to watch a minute of it just so you can insult the stupidity of the show. But then you get sucked in, and it isn’t until after six and a half hours of mind numbing idiocy you’re finally able to pull yourself away.

Afterwards you feel as if you’ve lost several IQ points, and you’re moderately depressed from having wasted the majority of your day. Sounds familiar? It’s ok, it’s happened to all of us.

People often discuss the purpose of consuming media as a means for informing us or our entertainment. Watching the game on TV may entertain you, or reading a book may inform you, but that’s only touching the surface level of media consumption. It goes much deeper than that.

Tuning Into Higher Conscious Media’s Frequency

As we’ve said earlier we’ve all experience feeling stupider after watching reality TV, or game shows. What’s interesting, however, is that you can experience the opposite by tuning into a higher conscious form of media.

For example, after watching Tony Robbins you may experience an uplifting drive towards change. Tony Robbins can teach you the psychology, and strategies for inducing change, and watching him can teach you a lot on an intellectual level, but it’s also fascinating that just presence of certain people can inspire others.

I don’t have scientific evidence for this, but based on my personal experience it appears that when we consume media we tune into the frequency of consciousness that media was created in. It’s as if the spiritual state the person was experiencing during the creation of a work is transferrable to you through your consumption of it.

If you watch a dark video someone created while going through a drug addiction you may feel sorrow or disturbed, while on the other hand if you read something written by someone you deem to be successful you’ll likely feel motivated to take action yourself.

What I’d recommend you do is find forms of media that transfer higher states of consciousness onto you. This blog is a good start, but also focus on eliminating the majority of mainstream media from your life.

If you consume like the majority, you’re going to produce results like the majority. Mainstream media consumption inevitably leads to mediocrity because it imprints lower levels of consciousness onto you.

If you want to start producing the best results possible begin reading high quality books. The amazing thing about good books is that the greatest men of all time often take a year or more of their lives pondering the most important lessons they’ve learned, and then writing from their highest level of consciousness.

When you read a good book you’ll learn amazing lessons, and even more importantly, you’ll have the consciousness of one of the greatest men to have ever lived imprinted on your own.

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How To Enter Flow, AKA “The Zone”

Many people claim to be good multitaskers. They believe they can effectively watch television, play on their phone, and do their homework… at the same time. There’s so much wrong with this statement it literally makes me feel uncomfortable just typing it.

Despite common belief the human brain cannot multitask. What you perceive to be multitasking is merely your brain rapidly shifting its attention from one task to another.

So Multitasking Isn’t Productive?

NO. In fact, It couldn’t be farther from being productive. For one you lose a lot of time shifting your attention between each task. Your brain only has so much “Mental RAM,” or working memory.

When you shift your attention between tasks you lose a lot of time because your brain has to repeatedly load up different states of mind and thoughts into your working memory for different tasks.

Even more significant than that, however, is the fact that each time you switch between different tasks you lose flow.

What Is Flow?

Flow is a state of mind in which you become one with your task. You become completely present to the moment and time and other thoughts cease to exist.

Almost everyone has experienced flow at some point. Perhaps you were playing basketball and you got into flow, often called “The Zone” in sports, you became extremely focused, and all your shots started falling.

If you’re a rapper you may have experienced flow while you were freestyling, and without even realizing it you are able to freestyle an entire song.

As a writer I often experience flow while writing blog posts. In fact, I’ve written almost all of my best articles while experiencing flow. Flow is particularly important as a writer because it allows you to transfer the exact state of consciousness you’re currently in to the paper for your audience to read.

Regardless of the task you’re trying to accomplish a flow state of mind will allow you to achieve it more quickly, and at a higher quality than you ever could have scatter brained.

Getting Into Flow

Because I’m such a nice guy I’ll give you a couple tips at getting into flow.

(1.) Commit to a single task. Multitasking has to become a thing of the past.

(2.) Don’t resist not being in flow. Let’s say you’re writing a blog post. You’re not in flow. You’re checking the clock every thirty seconds, and you’re having massive difficulty focusing. What’s the common approach for writer’s here? To proclaim that they’re in writer’s block, and that they need to come back another day.

After having juggled nearly everyday for the last 2 years and writing approximately 150 blog posts this year I can honestly tell you that occasionally flow is unattainable. Some days just aren’t meant for certain activities. 9 times out of 10, however, that’s just an excuse. Realize this, and don’t resist not being in flow on a particular day. Then continue on to the next step.

(3.) Take whatever actions you know you should be taking.

If you’re a writer this means writing anything, even if it’s complete gibberish. If you’re a rapper this means kicking some lame rhymes at the beginning. If you’re trying to get into a social mode this means going and talking to different groups of people.

Regardless of what you’re trying to attain flow in, however, you have to take action not for the end result, but instead simply to enjoy the process.

If you’re not enjoying the process you’re not being present to the moment, and flow cannot exist outside the now. If you haven’t jumped on the meditation bandwagon by now it would be a good time to do so.

Protecting Your Flow

Being in a state that’s deeply present to the moment has the potential to produce amazing results (as well as being calming and fulfilling), and thus it’s important you do all you can to protect it.

Remember to stay focused on the process rather than the end result. If you allow the voice in your head to begin hypothesizing over the future it’s very likely you’ll lose your flow.

Another important thing to remember is to minimize the possibility of other people interrupting you. Set boundaries for when people can contact you. If applicable to your task create a “Do Not Disturb” sign, lock your door, shut off your phone, and take your email offline to eliminate the temptation of checking up on it.

Closing Thoughts

Multitasking is something that may seem enticing, but will only be to your detriment if you decide to partake in it. If you want to produce the highest quality work you’re capable of you need to maintain your focus on a single task. When you’re able to enter a flow state it’s almost as if you’re able to access a higher conscious and it is during these moments you will experience pure joy, and produce results you didn’t imagine yourself being capable of.

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I apologize for being behind on the blog posts and videos this week. It’s been a crazy one, but I’ve got a lot of great content coming out in the next couple weeks to make up for it!

(Picture is of me and a juggler I met at Madfest this weekend learning to pass clubs.)

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Transforming One Area Of Your Life Per Year

Warning: The body of this post is a massive rant on my triumphs and struggles over the last few years. Many readers have expressed interest in reading a brief history of my life, but for those here strictly for usable information read only the bold in this post. You’ve been warned.

We’re now over a week into 2014. Are you keeping up with your New Year’s Resolutions? If so, kudos to you. If not check out this post on why New Year’s Resolutions don’t work and how you’ve set yourself up for failure.

Now, take a minute to think about where you were a year ago. Really think about it, and to the best of your ability project yourself back to that moment. What were your biggest challenges? What was the state of your emotions? How was your life different from today?

If the last year of your life has been a successful one your life probably looks significantly different. If not, change may be something to strive for this year. I’ve personally found that while change doesn’t happen overnight, it’s possible to completely revamp about one area of your life per year whilst maintaining or steadily improving the others.

Every year I have a primary focus that sets the tone for how I approach the year. The reason I set yearly focuses instead of resolutions is because I’ve found that it’s very difficult to gauge how much progress I’ll make in an area over the course of a year. Doing so is too much guess work, and sets myself up for inoptimal performance. Having focuses instead of resolutions also allows me more flexibility to change the way I approach improvement in an area of my life over that year.

Of course, there’s also mini monthly and weekly periods of immersion within the year and daily or even hourly periods of expansion and contraction within those, but as a general rule I turn my life upside down more or less on a yearly basis.

My Experiences With Yearly Transformations

In January of 2011 I was depressed. At the time what I believed to be the girl of my dreams had left me brokenhearted and I had spiraled into a deep depression. This was about the time I became interested in personal development, and I decided to make 2011 a year of discovery to determine if change was actually possible.

That year I went on to improve from being the worst player on my club team to eventually becoming the best sub, and later making my school’s varsity team.

I also improved my dating life, entering my first relationship, spent countless hours talking to other girls after the conclusion of that relationship, and taking a beautiful girl to homecoming.

My social life also turned itself upside down, and I went from having poor social skills and an extremely weak social life, to SOLID social skills, and being one of the most “popular” kids in high school.

I also became clean from several addictions, went vegan, and in the last month of 2011 picked up basic juggling. Although all the skills I had developed were cool, I was also happier than I’d ever been, and I had learned that improvement in any area of your life is possible.

2012 was more of a down year. At the time I didn’t realize that social skills were something that needed to be maintained, and as my skills degraded I went from having an abundant social life to having very few friends, no dating life and living in almost complete isolation.

My emotions hadn’t fallen back down to the deep depression they were once in, but as a result of my social isolation, I relapsed back into an addiction, and overall wasn’t nearly as happy as I was for the majority of 2011. I learned that results aren’t permanent, and I can’t continue to thrive off the labor of yesterday.

I let my ego get in the way of my success. Because I felt bad about not being at the level I had been less than a year ago I used juggling as a form of escapism, and would often juggle for over six hours per day.

Escapism is rarely healthy, but 2012 did allow me to begin walking the path of mastery and dramatically improve my skills as a juggler. You can watch my One Year Of Juggling video as proof of the improvements capable in a year.

I also began regularly lifting weights in 2012, and although year’s end had me physically stronger than I had ever been, psychologically I was as fragile as ever. My confidence was also low, as I’d experienced the pain of tasting success only to lose it shortly after.

2013 was probably the most interesting year yet. I continued my rapid progression as a juggler, and reduced my practice time from 4-5 hours per day to an even 2 hours a day, six days a week.

I also experienced a brief period of social abundance in the second half of the summer. I didn’t walk through life with the charisma I had in the second half of 2011, but my social circle was as healthy as it had ever been, I took another beautiful girl to Homecoming and I saw that getting back to my prior social glory was possible.

I continued to make progress in the gym in 2013, but the most significant change came in the professional area of my life. Blogging, and towards the end of 2013, vlogging as well.

In 2013 I wrote about 150 blog posts, and also recorded about 25 self-improvement videos (as well as about 25 juggling videos). It’s impossible to produce that much content in the field of personal development, and not emerge a changed man.

Although 2013 had me establish a respectable body of work, develop my juggling skills, significantly mature, and grow through my work in the field of personal development, I also saw two glaring holes that needed to be addressed this coming year.

One, my difficulty in enjoying the processes of life. Over the previous few years I’ve become robotic and began treating everything as merely a means to an ends. I don’t take time to enjoy things anymore, and I don’t give whatever I’m doing my full attention. I’m always thinking about what needs to be done next, and as a result I’m never able to enjoy what I’m currently doing.

I already mediate consistently so it’s not so much my attention span that’s incapable. More of it’s that I’m trying to use the future to justify me not enjoying the current moment. This is something I’m beginning to improve with using the ideas discussed in Eckhart Tolle’s The Power Of Now.

The other? My social skills. Although I had been making great progress with them this summer they’ve completely tanked over the last several months. This was a somewhat conscious decision as I wanted to focus my attention on producing blog content.

What I do know is that my social skills improve FAST. After a week of socializing everyday I’m almost always one of, if not THE most fun person in the room.

I’m extremely comfortable with who I am as a person, I just lack the ability to project this to the world when I’m working long hours and don’t socialize. However, I’ve also seen that being a workaholic isn’t productive, and my most productive weeks of 2013 were when I was going out regularly.

That’s why my focus for 2014 is going to completely turn my social skills upside down. If I’m socially sharp after a week of going out I know that after a month or two of consistently going out I’ll be able to surpass my social skills of late 2011 and make 2014 the most enjoyable one of my life.

I plan to do that both through the expansion of my social circle as well as obtaining a job. I think under normal conditions most jobs are for suckers. I value my time much more highly than minimum wage, but for my current position in life a job will also provide me a consistent opportunity to socialize for hours on end.

Social skills tend to perpetuate themselves. If you’ve got good social skills you’ll get invited to lots of social events, but if you lack social skills you’ll have difficulty finding opportunities to improve them. If you find yourself in my position getting a job is a good way to put your social skills into the positive spiral.

I’m already making solid progress in the other areas of my life so although I plan to continue making steady gains in them, I also recognize that the social area of my life is where my attention is most needed so that’s where I plan to immerse myself.

(I’m trying not to take myself as seriously this year.) 😉

Immersion Vs Burn Out

I think striving for massive improvements in one area of your life each year is an effective approach because it establishes specific habits of success, allows you to immerse yourself and identify solutions to the nuances of whatever you’re trying to improve, and finally because it prevents long term burn out.

If you’re trying to juggle 6 hours a day YOU WILL burn out. It’s inevitable. If you try to write two blog posts per day YOU WILL burn out. If you’re out late every night in an attempt to develop your social skills YOU WILL burn out, (or the rest of your life will suffer).

However, by limiting your periods of immersion in an area or skill to a year (and possibly later reimmersing) you’re able to pick up on things dabblers can’t while also preventing yourself from developing a resentment for an area of your life.

Additional Thoughts

Yearly transformations are of course a completely arbitrary measurement. I use them as a high school student simply because they’re a natural period of time to use as we advance a grade level each year. You could of course select any amount of time. Longer periods of time allow for a potentially deeper immersion, while shorter periods allow you to make surface level changes in several areas of your life more quickly.

Also, after you’ve gone through a couple periods of transformation you should be able to identify important trends in the way you learn. For example, I’ve found that something I often struggle with is remaining present to the moment and process oriented. Other people may struggle with maintaining motivation, or persevering when things become difficult.

Regardless, the important thing is you identify your weaknesses, and craft your environment to avoid them from being problematic or, at some incorporate them into your periods of immersion and improvement.

What should you immerse yourself in you ask? My advice to you is to find the area of your life that’s calling you. Or better yet, the area of your life that most frightens you. That’s where you need to place your attention.

Keep a selective focus as you’re likely going to struggle with revamping every area of your life in a single year, but there’s no reason you can’t do a damn good job on one of them.

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This is one of the first posts in several months I considered deleting as I feel it’s the weakest in a long time and I just wasn’t able to express what I wanted here. I’ve had several requests for a brief history of my life though, so I decided to push it out anyway. Hope you’re able to take some value from it.

In the few days after I’ve written this I’ve had a huge internal shift, and have been having more fun socially than I have in a LONG time.

(Picture is from “Color Day” of Homecoming week 2013.)

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The 3 Solutions For Dealing With Discomfort

It’s interesting that as soon as we have to do something important we create small, but seemingly urgent tasks. As soon as I sat down to write this blog post I thought about how I really should vacuum my room, or clip my nails, or update my blogging profile picture.

When I sit down to meditate I often think about all the things I need to be doing later in the day. I think about how I’m wasting time just sitting there, yet simultaneously I know meditation is one of the most important elements in keeping my life together and preventing a relapse back into my negative habits.

The problem isn’t the activities. The problem is my obsessive neurotic drive to avoid discomfort. We all have it to various degrees, and I’m just as human as the rest of you.

I’m not super human just because I’m Cameron the moderately good writer from cameronchardukian.com, though it may be easier for some to rationalize that as the reason they’ll never learn to accept any level of discomfort.

If there’s one thing meditation has taught me it’s that it’s ok to feel discomfort. Discomfort isn’t necessarily even bad unless you label it so. When I began writing this post I felt tremendous resistance. Although I don’t feel this is going to be one of the best posts I’ve ever written I’ve managed to push through the initial resistance and am now enjoying the process.

I’d been having a completely unproductive day until this point so why didn’t I throw the towel in? Because I understand that (generally speaking) those who chose comfort now will ultimately be the ones who live the most uncomfortable existences.

If I struggle the three months it takes to make lifting weights a habit now, I can essentially let it run on autopilot the rest of my life, and enjoy the benefits of it while I watch the rest of my peers grow into fat, miserable losers.

While I’m writing this blog post, many of my peers are getting high. They may be enjoying themselves more at this moment, but their approach isn’t sustainable, and over the course of a lifetime I’ll experience significantly more happiness than them.

As a general rule imagine discomfort as being a bank of sorts. If you borrow from it by say skipping a workout, you suffer decreased self-esteem, you lose progress in the gym, and you’ll have to pay “interest” because going to the gym next time will induce even more discomfort and be even more difficult.

On the other hand if you accept that going to the gym is going to be uncomfortable you’ll enjoy the payoff of increased confidence, making progress in the gym, and helping solidify the habit of going to the gym, thus putting yourself into a spiral of less discomfort.

Today may not be the most memorable of your life, but it’s definitely going to be the most important.

How Do I Stop Resisting Discomfort?

Notice the discomfort, breathe, and let go. Realize it’s ok to feel whatever you’re labeling as uncomfortable.

Attempt to ground yourself in the present moment as well. Few problems exist outside the present moment.

Even in a fight or flight emergency there’s no problem. Either you overcome the situation, or you die, in which case there’s still no problem.

Nothing is inherently negative unless you make it so. If you have the internet access to read this post all of your major problems are likely conflicts you’ve created within your own mind. It may be difficult for your ego to let go of them, but I assure you you’ll be a lot happier once you do.

Closing Thoughts

If you’re unable to accept discomfort you have two other solutions. First, you can attempt to escape it. This may be a good idea if it means walking away from an argument, but doing so can also be an unintelligent approach if it means attempting to escape reality.

If neither accepting your situation or escaping it are viable solutions for you, then your only solution is to change either yourself or your circumstances. This is typically the approach used within the personal development community.

Remember though, no amount of self-improvement will ever heal an inadequate amount of self-acceptance.

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Picture is of my hilarious fridge. Gotta love vegan style chili!

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Why Being Creative Allows You To Be More Social

Several months ago I wrote a post called Why Being Social Allows You To Be More Creative. Today I’d like to look at the alternative side of the equation. Why Being Creative Allows You To Be More Social.

Ecosystem Of Positive Emotions

In every social interaction people are constantly pinging off of each other for social feedback. Everyone wants to see where they stand in the social hierarchy of that environment. If a person lacks a strong sense of reality, and for the most part reacts to others, he’s seen as being low value.

Alternatively, if someone has a strong sense of reality and is completely focused on the process rather than the end result, as well as being independent from the outcome of his social interactions he’s seen as high value.

The biggest reasons most people are reactive in social situations is because they lack an ecosystem of positive emotions, and therefore they need validation.

Fortunately a creative outlet outside of your social interactions can help you solidify your ecosystem of positive emotions. You may need to spend some time finding a creative outlet you enjoy, but writing, drawing, or playing an instrument are among the most enjoyable things you’ll ever do.

Additionally, walking the path of mastery in a creative pursuit teaches you a lot about yourself. Making the time to practice your craft everyday develops your self-discipline, increases your confidence, and all around helps you find out who you are, thus massively decreasing your need for social validation.

The Practice Of Self-Expression

Another core element of socializing is your ability to express yourself. This is why the stereotype of girls loving rappers, and guitarists exists.

Your skill in expressing yourself is a big key to the level of social success you’ll experience. Charisma is the opposite of monotone tonality, and disinterest in life.

Practicing a creative pursuit allows you to be more social because doing so helps you get more in touch with yourself, and your ability to express who you are.

The Providing Of Value

The final reason being creative allows you to be more social is that it allows you to bring more value to your interactions. If you’re an expert artist, and you’re in a room full of crafty people BOOM! Instant connection.

However, even if you’re with people who don’t appreciate your specific talent they’ll still be able to appreciate the passion you’ve cultivated. I’ve got a friend that’s an artist, and although I’m not able to give her art the appreciation it deserves, I’m still fascinated by her simply because she loves what she does so much.

The appreciation of a specific craft may only appeal to a certain audience, but passion is universal. Walk the path of mastery through your creative pursuit, and there’s no doubt you’ll be a more social person.

Closing Thoughts/Disclaimer

Keep in mind that although being creative may allow you to be more social to some degree, it’ll pale in comparison to going out and actually learning to relate with other human beings. The most important factor in determining your level of social success is the frequency you socialize, and how far you’re willing to leave your comfort zone in the times you do socialize.

Of course this isn’t an either or scenario. The best way to improve your social skills is to gain social reference experiences, AND walk the path of mastery in a creative pursuit. If you do that you’re gold 🙂

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